What do you get when you merge the amazing creators of your favourite children’s history books, with immersive theatre and London’s river Thames? That’s right the one and only Terrible Thames boat tour!!!
My children are massive fans of Horrible Histories, we have a large collection of the books and they regularly enjoy the tv series too – The Romans film is a firm favourite! When we were invited to London to review the terrible Thames boat tour we simple couldn’t get there soon enough. If like our family you are already familiar with Horrible Histories this London trip down the river Thames will not disappoint.
What is the Terrible Thames Tour? Presented by the team behind Horrible Histories, Terrible Thames sets sail on the high (& low) tides of the city’s historic river. Leaving from Tower Bridge Quay, you discover the terrible truth about London’s most iconic landmarks including The Houses of Parliament, The Tower of London, The shard, HMS Belfast, the London eye, the Globe theatre, and Tower bridge.
Combining immersive theatre with a traditional sightseeing tour, the trip surprises and shocks in equal measure as it delivers its unique take on London to thrill both children and adults alike. The 45 minute round trip tour sets sail from Tower Bridge quay: previously known as St Katherine’s pier which is a stones throw from Tower bridge, and heads down to Westminster as you listen to gruesome stories told by Billy or Billie depending on which set of actors you get and his/her teacher.
Unlike many other London tours the Terrible Thames leaves in all the gore of London’s most famous river. As we have come to expect and love from the Horrible Histories group, it focuses on the darker side of London including gruesome deaths, and of course loads of toilet humour which had all the children in fits of giggles – because what child doesn’t laugh at the sheer mention of poo! And if you think the tour will just be enjoyed by the kids you are very much mistaken. The tour is perfectly pitched to both children and adults alike, and apart from the fact it is absolutely filled with History and fascinating revelations about Westminster and the city of London, the writers have been sure to drop in the odd political joke to give the adults a laugh too.
It is a uniquely entertaining and exhilarating attraction that is high energy, fun and educational from the moment it sets sail. Phoebe (7) was horrified to learn that women were tried as witches on the Thames and of course died regardless of the outcome of their trial, and really felt for those who tried to escape the plague by hiding on boats on the river Thames not knowing that it was in-fact being spread by rats on the river. Noah (10) was fascinated to learn that the Thames has frozen over 23 times, and hopes that in his lifetime it happens again so he can play football on it like they did between 1600-1814. Even my husband who is a major history buff learnt a thing or two – did you know there was a time capsule in the base of Cleopatras needle which includes 12 images of beautiful women? Whilst Oliver (4) and Heidi (2) loved all the sea shanties and have been singing “what shall we do with the drunken sailor” for days!
The tour is in its second season and I imagine will fast become one of London’s “must do’s” with children. With over 60,000 passengers last summer, the tour was shortlisted for a London Tourism Award for New Tourism Business of the Year.
The tour is aimed at those 5 and up and can definitely be enjoyed by the whole family. We had an absolutely brilliant time and the best bit? The kids learnt absolutely loads whilst having fun.
The need to know bits …….
Price.
ADVANCE TICKETS: Adult – £22.00 (off-peak) £25.00 (peak). Senior – £20.00 (off-peak) £23.00 (peak). Child – £14.00 (off-peak) £15.00 (peak).
Under 3’s – FREE
FAMILY TICKET – £65.00 (off-peak) £72.00 (peak) – 2 Adults and 2 Children
There is an additional charge for booking on the day, and as the tour is proving to be extremely successful is often fully booked so I would not recommend just turning up.
School / Education groups: Group 8+ – £12.50 per child and 1 teacher goes free for every 10 children
GROUPS 10+ Adult £20.00 (off-peak) £23.00 (peak). Child £12.00 (off-peak) and £13.00 (peak)
Available by emailing groups@seetickets.com
Accessibility: As the Terrible Thames boat is not a new build there is no step free access at present. A wheelchair lift and accessible bathroom facilities are in discussion to be installed, however as it stands as of June 2022 it is not wheelchair friendly.
You are welcome to bring your pushchair on board (we did) however if you have a young baby please note you will have to take them out during the show and leave your buggy in the storage area.
British Weather: London is not only famous for the river Thames but its unpredictable weather. Whilst the deck will always be open to customers to enjoy the amazing sights of London, in the event of rain the tour will not be cancelled and the performers will carry out the show on the lower interior deck, which is fully enclosed with windows so you can also enjoy the sights of London on the Terrible Thames Tour.
Snacks: (because kids can’t go longer than 3 minutes without asking for one).
At present you are unable to purchase food or drinks onboard, however rumour has it the Terrible Thames are working on exciting plans to introduce this so watch this space. For now however you are more than welcome to bring your own snacks and drinks onboard.
When to arrive? The tour sets off at quarter to the hour and it is recommended that you arrive 15 minutes early. However we arrived just under 30 minutes before our time slot and there was already a queue starting to form. The tour arrives back to the quay at half past the hour and the turn around to get passengers off and the next group on is quite quick. If you are hoping to get photos on board after the tour I would recommend not leaving it to the last minute and get those snaps as soon as you board.
Head over to http://www.terriblethames.com/ to book your tour.
To view more of our trip head over to our Instagram and view our stories which I have saved as a highlight. https://www.instagram.com/s/aGlnaGxpZ2h0OjE4MDQ3NjYyMDgxMzI2NTkz?igshid=MDJmNzVkMjY=
If you have any questions about the tour please feel free to leave a comment and I will try and assist you the best I can.
Thank you Terrible Thames for having us on board.
This looks so much fun. So important to go on educational trips when homeschooling. We will definitely be booking this when in London over the summer. Thanks for sharing
Author
Thank you Julie. I agree. We love an educational trip, we all learnt so much from the tour and had a really fun afternoon too. Let me know how you find it. Hayley xx